The Girl That I Intend To Be
by Mad-like
Summary: Here's my alternate version of season 4, a land where lots of people get to have happy endings and they don't end up selling CDs from the trunk in a church parking lot. Just saying.
1. Just You Wait and See

_No more,_  
_I won't beg to buy a shot at your back door_  
_If I'm aching at the thought of you, what for?_  
_That's not me anymore_

_I'm not the girl that I intend to be,_  
_I'll get there darling, just you wait and see_  
_But this time not for you but just for me,_  
_And I say_

_Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?_  
_I'll be alright, just not tonight_  
_Someday_

_Heyyyy I wish you'd want me to stay_  
_I'll be alright, just not tonight,_  
_Someday_

**_Gonna Get Over Your - Sara Bareilles (2011)  
_**

Mercedes closed her eyes tightly and clicked her heels together three times. She tried to visualize her deepest wish in detail but she couldn't. All she could see was that she was singing. People were paying money to hear her sing. She smiled at the vision and opened her eyes.

"Damn!" she scowled at the person standing in front of her.

"Well, I love you too!" Kurt Hummel laughed.

"Not you. It's just those damned ruby red slippers are fake." The two of them looked at shoes in the display case of the Smithsonian's American History museum.

"As I recall the moral of that story was there's no place like home." Kurt reminded her. "Home is what I'm trying to get away from."

"You made it at far as Washington." she reminded her best friend.

"To hang out with my dad for a week but yes, it's a start. And you escaped."

"My singing career?" She rolled her brown eyes dramatically. "Don't remind me."

"What happened?" He asked with concern since she had only hinted at the story. "Really?"

"It wasn't as bad as it coulda been." She sighed deeply. "If you must know, here's the deal, in case it ever happens to you. I'm a singer, he's a producer, so yo you'd think we'd be in a recording studio but instead he's talking pictures. The first couple were okay but after a while I started to get a little creeped out.

"_Why are are doing this again?" Mercedes asked, tugging at the bosom of the low cut dress he asked her to wear. Her girls were threatening to fall out.  
_

"_Publicity, you need publicity shots." The pervy producer answered._

"_This kind of publicity I'm not interested in."_

"_You gotta put your assets up front." He insisted.  
_

"_My voice is the only ass-set I'm interest in putting on display."_

"_Mercy," he spoke to her like she was a child "if you want to win the game you gotta play the game."_

"_What game is that?"_

"_The fame game. If you wanna be a winner you gotta be a player."_

"_Than I guess I'm a loser." She grabbed her jacket for modesty. She kept the dress for spite.  
_

"And that was the end of my brilliant career. So after that I kicked around for a bit, passing out demo CDs like they were candy, doing open mics. Schuester didn't mention that, how fiercely competitive it is out there. How record companies are more interested in the look than the sound. They can fix the sound with technology and my look isn't what they're interested in. Schuester's all - go to LA and be a star."

"Well that sucks. Maybe not prom queen sucky but genuinely sucky none the less."

"Eventually I blew through all my money and had to beg my dad for help. He made me promise to come home if things don't work out by my 21st birthday. Then he hooked me up with a friend of his, a dentist who needed office help. Two weeks of that and I'm hating life but then in walks the former Terri Schuester. She was in for a root canal but her nanny had just bailed on her and she had to bring her son Max along. Said she'd always wanted to be a wife and mother but the wife part went to shit so she decided to adopt a toddler. Anyway, thanks to my awesome babysitting skills she offered me a job. I guess that's the upside of no high school social life. A decent salary, room and board, travel, getting away from rooming with Puck. I would have been crazy to say no. She's around her somewhere, probably at Air and Space because Max likes that kind of thing. Then they're going to the Mint cause Terri likes THAT kind of thing, but she gave me the day off and here I am with you." She linked arms with Kurt. "Well, as long as we're here we might as well check out the gemstone collection."

"Yes, lets look at beautiful gems and fantasize about the handsome men who will give them to us." Kurt pulled her away from the Wizard of Oz display.

**Later that day**

"Okay, I'll spend a week here with Burt and Carole, then what?" Kurt asked, mentally weighing the Hope Diamond in his mind. No. Even Kurt Hummel has his bling limit.

"I suppose you'll have to go back home, maybe help out at the garage. It's not the worst thing that could happen, I mean, it's up there but..." She was interrupted by her cell phone, "Hello?"

"Hello. May I speak to Mercedes Jones?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

"Speaking. How can I help you?"

"Yes, my name is Alyce McKenna, from Los Angeles."

"From a record company.?" She winked at Kurt.

"No." the disembodied voice replied. "Unfortunately no. I'm sorry."

"No, that's fine. Statistically speaking very few people are from record companies. How can I help you?" She repeated, trying to hide her disappointment.

"To get straight to the point, I own a publishing company, a music publishing company, and we'd like to talk to you about joining use. As a songwriter."

"A songwriter!" Did she hear that right? Now Kurt was winking at her.

"Yes, a songwriter. Let me explain. A friend gave me a copy of your CD. My friend actually does work for a record company. In the department that processes rejections, sorry to say, but she listens to the CDs before she shreds them."

"That's allowed?" And did Mercedes really care if it's allowed or not?

"Yes. At that point the record company has already declined to sign the artist. Anyway, she thought I might be interested and sent me the CD. And she was right, you're a very good writer. Your work is hard to fit in a slot, quite frankly it's all over the place. Personally I think that's an advantage but most record companies want to know exactly what category you should be filed under. And they're more interested in singers than songwriters anyway."

"And you're not looking for singers?"

"No. I prefer to focus on writing and in you I see a style I'd like to work with." She likes my style, Mercedes mouthed to Kurt while still listening to Alyce. "So if you're interested I'd like to meet you in person."

"Yes!". She repeated herself, tying not to sound too eager. "Yes, I'd like that."

"Great. I'll text you our website so you can check it out. A girl can't be too careful." Alyce said with a laugh.

"Yes, I'd like that." She hung up the phone and beamed at Kurt. "I guess those shoes do work."

"Oh, babe." He hugged her. "Let's go back so I can make a wish."

_**Several weeks later**_

"So!" Kurt asked anxiously. "What's it like?"

"Well, she runs the company out of an office in her house, a freaking LA mansion. There's a huge amount of talent here in LA scrambling for a small number of paid singing gigs. That's what she was, a singer/guitarist, when she first came here but writing's the way to go, or so says Alyce. She says most people are atrocious, and I need some polishing..."

"Well that's harsh." Kurt observed.

"That's Alyce McKenna. And I haven't even mentioned the co-owner, her brother Ben. He's even worse when it comes to tact. You never wonder what either of them is thinking, that's for sure."

"And what about your job with Terri?"

"That fits too. Songwriting's not a 9 to 5 job. You can do it anywhere and anytime. I won't have to juggle auditions and gigs around Terri's schedule. I mean, with Max in school I have the morning's free so I can write and record demos then. And then Alyce and Ben try to sell them. That's why they're so particular, they're the ones sitting in the meeting with producers, trying to convince them to buy the songs. But it's cool, they half-sold one already. I'll send you a ticket when the the check clears."

"Cool! And that guy you mentioned, Drake?"

"Drew." She corrected him. "His name is Drew and he's okay."

"Just okay?" That's not good Kurt thought. "Didn't he invite you out on a date?"

"The farmer's market and I totally misread him. Remember how I said he likes my hair, that it was the first thing he said to me that day I met him at a staff meeting?"

"Yes. He has dreads, right?"

"Locs, yes. And like everybody in this town he has a half-dozen jobs just to pay the rent. Songwriters only get paid when they sell something. So one of the other is selling stuff at the local farmer's market."

"What kind of stuff?" Kurt was starting to lose interest. Didn't she leave Ohio to get away from farm boys?

"Well, and this is where hair comes in, he sells stuff for natural hair."

"There's special things for natural hair? You can't just go to the store?"

"You can, and I used to, but this is African shea butter and it's awesome, I must say. I'll send you some."

"To use on my hair?" Kurt visualized her thick mane and his fine hair.

"It's probably too heavy for your hair, but he makes this massage bar. I mean, it looks like a bar of soap but it melts on you skin. Blaine would love it. And see, that's the part I misread. When he mentioned massages I thought sexy times. But no, he just needed somebody to help out at his farm stand. But even so, there's no reason for you guys not to have sexy times."

"Gay?" Kurt asked, visualizing sexy times with Blaine.

"No. Sitting there for a couple of hours we got to talking. Normally we talk about whatever we're working on but that day was different because we were both bored. It turns out I'm not his type. He goes for the video vixen type."

"What's a video vixen?"

"Kurt! You need to watch more rap videos. A video vixen is a half naked black girl wearing a bikini several sizes too small, spike heels and some Indian girl's hair on her head."

"Oh." He was starting to lose interest again.

"Actually, most guys go for that type. I guess the white ones are called video vixens too. That's why he's here, his girlfriend dances in music videos."

"A place the size of LA you're sure to find the right guy."

"I'm too busy to worry about it right now. Alyce is gorgeous, talented and rich and she's not worried. I suspect when I get to her age I'll start to worry. Terri's old as hell and she's got some guy on the hook and is slowly reeling him in. Anyway, how soon can you get out her to visit?"

"I don't know. It's not like I'm busy here. Blaine's at school all day and then there's student government business after school."

"Student government?"

"Yes. He's president of the student council. Sam's vice president."

"That's cool."

"And Sam." He hesitated, considering how things turned out between her and Sam.

"What about him?"

"He's dating Britt now."

"Oh. See, she's the white video vixen type guys go for. Well, I'm happy for him. Happy he has a girlfriend he can be seen in public with."

"And he couldn't be seen in public with you?"

"We were seen in public, it's just nobody knew we were dating, did they? Anyway, I already knew that, that he was dating Britt."

"How?"

"Unique. She called me the other day for some advice. You see, back in the day Rick the Dick used to keep calling me Porsche or Lexus like it was some joke I never heard before. Oh, he's quite the wit, isn't he? Anyhow, Unique asked me how to handle a similar problem."

"Didn't Rick graduate?"

"Yeah, he did. Unique's problem is with Britt of all people. Britt was always nice enough in her passive-aggressive way but now she's gone off the hook."

"What?" Kurt couldn't believe it.

"She keeps calling Unique by my name. As in all black people look alike I suppose. Schuester was sitting right there and didn't say a word, surprise surprise. He probably can't tell the difference either. I told her to just call Britt whatever dumb blond is making news this week. There's always a dumb blond in the news. I could talk to Sam about it but I'd rather not." Kurt heard the sadness that enters her voice when Sam comes up. He wished they'd had ended their relationship with a bang, a big knock down drag out fight where at least each knew what the other was mad about, rather than the way they let it dissolve in a puddle of unspoken words, unasked questions, unacknowledged hurt. Mercedes was still talking. "I'd rather not ask for a favor from Sam. So, maybe you could ask Blaine to speak to him about it?"

"Sure. I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. Britt wouldn't do something mean on purpose."

"Whatever. Whether she means anything by it or not it still stings." Mercedes repeated.

"Sure. I talk to Blaine." Kurt was distracted by the doorbell ringing. "Seven pm on the dot. Punctual as ever." he said with a frown.

"Oh Kurt, it'll be fine." She sent waves of electronic love his way. "She's your favorite aunt, isn't she?"

"She's my only aunt and I love her to pieces. It's just, this is the first time we're talking face to face since NAYDA. I just don't want to go through it with her."

"It'll be fine. She'll fuss a little and then she'll get over it."

"Probably." The door bell rang again. "I better go face the music. Love ya, babe!"

"Love ya, babe!"

The two old friends broke the connection.


	2. If Only In My Dreams

_I'll be home for Christmas_  
_ You can count on me_  
_ Please have snow_  
_ And mistletoe_  
_ And presents 'neath the tree_

_ Christmas eve will find me_  
_ Where the love light gleams_  
_ I'll be home for Christmas_  
_ And you'll be in my dreams_  
_ I'll be home for Christmas_  
_ If only in my dreams_

**___I'll Be Home for Christmas_ - Bing Crosby (1943)  
**

**Twenty years ago**

Ava Monroe was the practical one. The girl with everything planned out, option A, B and C all nicely laid out. That's why she couldn't understand how she found herself here, stranded on the side of the road.

"It's a car." She explained, although you'd think that was unnecessary. "A car. Cars run on gasoline. They keep the gasoline in places called gas stations. See this dial here? That tells you how much gas is in the car. See this red light here?" She glared at her travelling companion, who glared back. "This red light means something. It means you need to put gas in the car. You know what happens when you don't put gas in a car?"

"I end up stuck listening to you whine?" Zoey answered.

"No." Ava snapped. "You end up stuck on the side of road in the middle of nowhere!"

"It's not the middle of nowhere. We just passed a town."

"Well gee, maybe somebody should have stopped at a gas station?" Ava said in disgust. "How far back?"

"Well if you hadn't been sleeping you could have pointed that out." Zoey said defensively, knowing it was a lame excuse.

"That's what the red light is for!" Ava fills her car when the dial shows half a tank and cannot understand how a 24 year old woman could possibly run out of gas.

Zoey opened the car door. "You know, much as I am loving this conversation maybe, just maybe, walking back to that town might be a bit more effective."

"Fine!" Ava got out of the car and slammed the door behind her.

**two miles down the road**

The two women bickered all the way back to the small town and where still arguing as they walked up to the darkened garage.

"Looks closed." Ava observed.

"Hey!" Zoey pounded on the door, rattling the CLOSED sign. "Hey!" She pressed her face against the glass. "Hey! I see you in there!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "Come out!"

"Help!" Ava pleaded, pressing her face to the glass too.

The mechanic inside weighed his options. Damn! If his dad didn't own this place he'd be out with his friends, instead of first to open, last to leave. Paying customers. His dad would go ballistic if he didn't answer the door. The pool hall was calling his name but this business kept his family clothed and fed. He had a tradition to uphold. Burt Hummel put his broom aside, ran his hands though his mop of brown hair and opened the door.

Burt tried to discretely study the two women crowded in the cab of the truck with him. They were dressed alike, jeans and a tshirt, but one's tshirt had a old guy with wild hair and read "Bach Rocks". The other one's shirt had a turtle emblazoned with an M that looked like it was ready for a fight and read "Fear the Turtle". Bach girl had long brown hair that she wore in a very old fashioned wavy style. Burt had no idea what the style was called but it reminded him of an old movie, like she should be in black in white talking to Humphrey Bogart. She was quiet and calm and classy. Turtle girl was not. Her hair was short and spikey and although he's not into fashion Burt would bet money that the original color was not this tomato red. Besides the fact that they had once shared a womb the Monroe sisters were as different as night and day. Or Ava to Zoey. The face was the same, if you looked carefully and past Zoey's troweled on makeup, but everything else was so different you quickly forget they were identical twins. Ava rarely spoke and Zoey's been talking nonstop. So much so that Burt tuned out most of what she was saying.

"Is it Lima like the bean or Lima like Peru? Weird name for a town but then we're from Havre de Grace. It's French so it should be pronounced "Gra" but people say Grace and everybody just agreed to say it that say. So which is it? Li-ma or Lee-ma?" Burt had been ignoring Zoey's words but he did notice the sudden silence.

"You better say something." Ava said. "You may not get another chance."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch what you just said." Burt apologized, switching his attention from driving.

"Don't apologize." Ava responded. "I don't even think she was listening to that rant."

"So what brings you to Lima?" Burt asked before they started fighting again.

"Ah, so it's Lima like the bean. Well, Burt, we decided to take a road trip because Ava just got her dream job and I just graduated from the University of Maryland." She pointed to her tshirt.

"Finally!" Ava said.

"Yes, finally." Zoey agreed. "Unlike some people I didn't pick a career at seven."

"Well excuse me for having a goal!" Ava snapped.

"What do you do?" Burt interrupted a round of the battling Monroe sisters.

"I'm a musician." Ava answered. "I play the cello with the Baltimore Symphony."

"And she's great! At least our parents have one child they can be proud of."

"Zoey! They're proud of you and you know it." She patted her sister's hand and was rewarded with a dazzling smile. "They just worry is all."

"I can't say I gave them much to be proud about." Zoey stared at the passing scenery. "Wasted a lot of time and money is all."

"But your photographs! They're so good." Ava said sincerely.

"Thanks, babe." The sisters hugged. "Now all I have to do is figure out to make a living at it."

"You will. It takes you a while to settle on something but you always make it work."

"Here we are!" Burt announced, parking his truck behind their car. "I brought enough gas to get you back to Lima. I'll meet you at the garage and you can fill up."

"Thank you so much!" Ava offered Burt her hand. "How much do we owe you?"

"Oh, it's nothing." Burt said shyly.

Zoey looked at Burt, who seemed to forget he was still holding Ava's hand. Ava looked in no hurry to get her hand back. But Zoey didn't intend to stand on the side of the road all night watching them make goo goo eyes at each other, which seemed to be the plan they had in mind. "So Burt, it's going to be late when we get back to Lima. Assuming two good looking women offered to buy you dinner, where would they be taking you?"

"I can't let you do that." Burt suddenly noticed Ava's hand in his and let go. "Really, it's my job."

"Really, we want to." Zoey insisted. "Don't we Ava?"

Ava stared at her hand, her cheeks the color of Zoey's hair.

**Three months later**

"You gotta be kidding me!" Zoey said, watching Ava fold a sweater with military precision. "You've known this guy all of two days!"

"Two days?" Ava picked up another sweater. "It's been almost three months."

"But still." Zoey picked up a sweater and folded it clumsily. "I thought you were going to marry a pianist. You were going to marry a pianist and raise a house full of musical children. You were going to start your own orchestra! Does he play the piano?" Zoey demanded, as if that was a deal-breaker Ava had overlooked.

"No, he doesn't play the piano." Ava gently took the sweater from her hands and refolded it. "And I can still raise a house full of musical children. I can teach them the piano."

"But your job! You just got that job that you've been talking about since sixth grade. I remember that field trip to the symphony. That's what I want you said. And you did it, you're working you way up just like you planned."

"They have orchestras in Ohio. I've already got a job lined up. That's what I was waiting for or I would have left two months ago."

"You knew that fast?" Zoey stared at Ava, as if seeing for the first time the face she'd been looking at every day of her life.

"Yes," She hugged the sweater to her chest and looked out the window of their childhood bedroom. Ava was going to miss this little town on the Chesapeake Bay but from the glow on her face Zoey knew this discussion was over. "I knew that night at the restaurant and I wanted to move fast on this, that there was no reason to hesitate."

"But Ava," Zoey whined "I'm supposed to be the impulsive one."

"This is not being impulsive. This is what I'm supposed to do."

**Back to the present  
**

"So, how's my favorite nephew?" Zoey Monroe kissed the tall brunette on the cheek. Ava would be so proud to see him today, what a handsome man he grew up to be.

"I'm your only nephew." He looked at his aunt, what his mom would look like if she was still alive and wore her hair in a short bob. It always gave him goosebumps but the sensation soon passed.

"That's just like Ava, perfect the first time." Zoey looked around. "So is it just us?"

"Yes. Finn's on a date and dad and Carole are out of town. I made dinner, sorry but Vegetarian food's that's not a salad is hard to come by in Lima."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" she sat down on the sofa. "But first, let's talk."

Kurt groaned inwardly and sat down stiffly on the edge of the sofa. "Okay. About NYADA..."

"Yes. So when where you going to tell me about that?"

"Oh Aunt Zoey, it was so embarrassing. I nailed that audition. I mean nailed it to the wall with an air gun. And then Rachel, I was embarrassed for her. You could see the words to her song packing their bags and walking off the stage. I wanted to cry in her place, I really did. But somehow she got the golden ticket and I got thanks but no thanks. It was so humiliating."

"Kurt" She put her arm around him. "You would not believe how many times I've heard thanks but no thanks. All you can do is keep searching until you hear you're just what we're looking for." Kurt was as close as Zoey was ever getting to a son and she kissed his cheek again. "And speaking of that, ask me what's new."

Kurt leaned into her embrace. Was it his imagination or did she even smell like his mother? "What's new Aunt Zoey?"

"I got a new job. Ask me where." she teased.

"Where Aunt Zoey?" He complied.

"At Vogue."

"Vogue?" Kurt squealed, half leaping off the sofa. "Really? Vogue? You mean the fashion magazine, right?"

"Oh? There's a fashion magazine called Vogue?" She laughed and ruffled his hair, something he hated even as a baby. "Yes, the fashion magazine, and you'd know that if you hadn't been hiding from me all summer. And guess what else?"

"What else!" He asked breathlessly.

"They have an internship program there. Unfortunately it started six weeks ago." Well that sucks, Kurt thought, but Zoey continued. "But wait, there's more! Someone dropped out and all the other people on the waiting list have made other arrangements by now. So, if only I knew of someone who wanted to go to New York and work at Vogue..." She tapped her finger to her chin and if she was stumped.

"Me! Pick me!" Kurt raised he hand. "Me!"

"It's not all sunshine and lollipops." Zoey feigned seriousness. "It doesn't pay much. You wouldn't be able to pay the rent on a shoebox. On the other hand you do have an Aunt with an extra bedroom."

"Me! This guy!" He pointed to himself as if there was another guy in the room.

"Then it's done. I hate to rush you but can you get there in a week?"

"Done!"

**Several days later**

Kurt stared at the ceiling, trying to memorize everything about this moment. The way the early morning light was creeping across the heirloom carpet, the feel of the silk sheets, the heavy white comforter, the smell of Blaine's cologne, the sound... He rolled over and pulled Blaine close, one hand snaking under his satin pajama top to rest over Blaine heart. Could he feel his heart beating or was that his imagination? The muffled sobs were definitely real.

"Don't cry baby." He whispered against Blaine's neck. "Please don't cry. It's only six weeks, I'll be back." Blaine's response was muffled by the pillow his face was buried in. "Please?" Kurt begged.

"Okay" came the muffled response. Blaine flipped his pillow over so Kurt couldn't see how soaked it was, rubbed his eyes and turned over. "I must look a mess."

"That's impossible." Kurt kissed Blaine's blood-shot and puffy eyes. "I love you, gorgeous. And I always will. Christmas. I'll be home for Christmas. You can count on me."

Blaine rubbed his running nose. "I guess that's not too long. Christmas."

"The best Christmas ever!" He kissed Blaine again, trying to store up kisses for the next six weeks.

"And you won't...won't..." Blaine stuttered like he only did under intense stress.

"Won't what, baby?" Kurt asked.

"New York." Blaine took a deep breath to steady himself. "There'll be so many guys there. And you're so beautiful. Nobody here knows that but New York guys will be hitting on you all the time. They won't be able to stop themselves."

"Baby, there's not a man in New York, or anywhere, who comes close to you."

"You think so now but you don't know any better." Blaine said with conviction.

"I know so. Period." They kissed again. "Six weeks." Kurt let his hand slip lower. "And since we're both awake..." Six weeks is a long time.


	3. No Wonder I'm So Lonely

_When I remember every little thing_  
_ You used to do_  
_ I'm so lonely_  
_ Every road I walk along_  
_ I walk along with you_  
_ No wonder I'm so lonely_

_ The sky is blue_  
_ The night is cold_  
_ The moon is new_  
_ But love is old_  
_ And while I'm waiting here_  
_ This heart of mine is singing_  
_ Lover come back to me_

**Lover Come Back To Me (Cassandra Wilson take on the Jazz standard written in 1928)  
**

**Another two weeks**

"Here you are Kurt, all ready to go!" Adam Greene slid the tray of coffee cups across the counter. "The intern special."

"Thank you Adam" Kurt smiled politely at the tall barrista with the curly blond hair.

"What happened to the other interns?" Not that Adam minded. Kurt's a generous tipper and Adam likes that in a customer. This neighbourhood is surprisingly full of cheap ass rich people. "They used to rotate picking up coffee."

"New guy rules. I think they're lying but I don't mind, it gives me an excuse to get out for a few minutes in the middle of the day."

"So how are you liking it there?"

"Great. It's great. Of course the whole thing ends in a few weeks. But that's okay too. I'll see Blaine again." Ah, he missed Blaine so much. "He's my boyfriend back home."

"And speaking of that, the back home part, I know you like music and my sister's in a play, a musical, and I wondered if you'd like to go. " He noticed Kurt's puzzled expression. "Not a date or anything cause you've mentioned Blaine before but just to see Patrice's play."

"How do you know I like music? Some secret gay guy code?" Kurt asked with a laugh.

"No, there's no secret signal we use to spot each other in a crowd" he joked back. "Zoey told me when she was here for dinner the other night. She also said you need to get out a little. She said just because you have a boyfriend back home doesn't mean you have to live like a hermit when you're in the most exciting city in America. It's just a play and a cast party afterwards."

**Later that night  
**

"A party?" Blaine asked with a frown on the other end of the Skype connection. "You're going to a party with some random guy?"

"It's not a date or anything." Kurt reassured his boyfriend. "We talk about you all the time. It's just, I get lonely sometimes. Not lonely as in want to sleep with other guys but lonely as in don't want to just sit around the house all night. Zoey's great but she has her own life and the other people in the intern program, they're nice enough but they kind of resent me, I think. They had to submit portfolios and compete for a spot and I just waltzed in. Behind my back they say Burt of Zoey must have pulled strings to get me in. And believe me, I don't really want to see this play, it's just a reason to get out of the house."

"Why don't you want to go?" Blaine secretly hoped Kurt had a miserable time. He hoped the acting was atrocious and the singing off-key. He hoped the dancers tripped and the band lost all it music. He wished Kurt a terrible time that ended in an early night alone with just a headache to keep him company.

"It's West Side Story." Kurt sighed. "At NYADA."

**NYADA**

West Side Story wasn't as bad as Kurt had dreaded. The girl playing Maria was very good, and thankfully it's wasn't Rachel. Thank god it wasn't Rachel! Instead it was Adam's sister Patrice. Kurt made a note to call Mercedes, NYADA cast a black Maria and the world didn't come to an end. Yes, Adam had mentioned that Patrice's mother was his foster mother and she adopted him the first chance she got but Adam hadn't specifically mentioned she was black. She was definitely black and Adam was definitely white and Kurt had never heard of black person adopting a white baby.

Patrice made a point of introducing the two men to all of her friends. She had a lot of friends but Kurt noticed Rachel wasn't among them. That was odd for such a small school. He knew she was in the cast in a small role so Kurt looked around for her.

"Hey Rachel." He finally noticed the petite brunette sulking by the punch bowl.

"Kurt! What are you doing here?" Great, she thought, Kurt saw her in her humiliation.

"I live here. My aunt helped me get a job at Vogue."

"At Vogue, really? That's great Kurt. Fashion's good for you" she said absentmindedly.

"Well, it's a decent plan B. How's school?"

"Mehh." She shrugged. "The classes are fine. It's just my roommate." She looked around the room and lowered her voice. "She's a frigging nightmare!"

"What, too many boyfriends?"

"No. Worse."

"Let me guess, she's a slob?"

"No. She's a thief."

"A thief? Really? She stole something from you?" Yes, Kurt had to agree. That was bad.

"Yes, and you saw it!" Kurt look puzzled. "Patrice? She stole Maria from me!"

"Rachel." Kurt laughed. "You gotta be kidding. She was awesome."

Rachel looked at him in amazement. "She was okay and it's all my fault anyway."

"How so?" Kurt asked, interested.

"Well, she's my roommate and only auditioned because everybody had it, it's a school rule. Oh Rachel, she said, do you know I'm the only girl in the freshman class who hasn't played Maria? And I said Oh Patrice, you'll be fine. But I see myself as a dancer she said. Well, if you didn't have a decent voice you wouldn't be here I said. Well I knew I'd win the role but I was supportive, the way Schuester would have wanted me to be. And then, and then..." Rachel was so choked up she couldn't continue.

"What?" Kurt asked impatiently.

"It came down to a sing-off. I knew I had it locked down, I haven't lost a sing-off yet. And I was winning, I know it. And then she...she..." Rachel gulped from the water bottle she was holding to steady herself.

"What!" Kurt waved his hand, hoping it would speed her up.

"Spanish. She grew up in a Spanish neighborhood or some such and started singing in Spanish. Then suddenly the director remembered Maria's Puerto Rican. And unlike back home, they don't have a problem with somebody being black and Puerto Rican at the same time. They've seen it with their own eyes. It only took me a second to pull the knife from my back but once they heard Spanish I was done for. If only I had a decent Spanish teacher. I kinda blame Schuester for all this. But if you can believe it that's not the worst part! Here's the worst part. She acts like she didn't do anything wrong. You don't own Maria she said. And then when I tried to explain why she should step down she's all Damn I'm glad you didn't take the understudy role or I'd be afraid for my life right about now." She glared at Kurt when he snickered at that. "Anyway, my dads are helping me look for a new place to live. We found a loft but I need a roommate. Where do you live by the way?" Kurt would be a good enough roommate she calculated.

"With my aunt. And I'm going back home at Christmas. The Vogue job is just an internship, it ends in December."

"Oh well." Rachel scanned the room, maybe that dance assistant Brody needs a roommate.

Kurt stood on the edge of the dance floor, watching the young people dance. Not that they were younger than Kurt, he just felt old. They were in school and he wasn't. Was he still going to college or would he just start working, hopefully somewhere other than the garage? His Aunt Zoey took her time getting through college, Adam was taking a few management course at a community college, eventually hoping to open his own restaurant. Mercedes was taking music composition courses, hoping to make a living as a song-writer. What would he even major in? Now that music was out what does he want to be when he grows up?

He was lost in his own thoughts, Rachel had deserted him to flirt with a a guy she introduced as Brody. Adam and Patrice danced together for a while before Patrice started dancing with another student. Soon Adam approached Kurt with two water bottles.

"We can leave any time you want." He said looking at the dance floor.

"Your sister was fantastic tonight."

"Thanks. This was always her dream, NYADA. She came home from a sixth grade field trip and couldn't shut up about it. Truthfully, I never thought it would happen."

"Why? She's definitely got the talent."

"True, but they don't let just anybody in here you know." Yes, Kurt was well aware of that.

"Yes. I know her roommate, Rachel. She's really good too."

Adam laughed. "I think Rachel created a monster. She seems nice enough but Patrice thinks she's condescending. P's here on a full scholarship because we'd never be able to afford the tuition. Most of the kids here come from money and had years of private lessons. P learned to dance at the community center and our mom taught her to sing so she's sensitive about her background. Maybe Rachel was trying to be helpful but it pissed her off. I mean talent-wise P deserves to be here as much as anybody. She was going to blow off the audition, figuring they'd never cast a black Maria anyway, but then decided she wanted the role just to prove a point. Little sister is big on going as far as it takes to prove a point. Too far most of the time. So she heard Rachel practicing and figured she needed a little something extra. That's why she had "Noche -Tonight" in her back pocket, just in case. P's a planner, that's for sure."

"And you?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know, whatever the opposite of a planner is." He took a gulp of water. "A dreamer, I guess?"

"Nothing wrong with dreams."

"I suppose. And what about you?" His sparkling brown eyes lingered on Kurt. "Dreamer or planner?"

"I'm gonna go with all of the above. Growing up gay in a small town in Ohio you learn to keep your dreams in check."

"But you like fashion and you ended up at Vogue. That must be a dream come true."

"It's great, a wonderful opportunity, but to tell you the truth going to NYADA was my dream."

"Really?" Adam seemed surprised. "Doing what?"

"I sang. Not good enough for NYADA apparently, but I used to sing." He watched two boys dancing on the other side of the room. He put down his water bottle. "Wanna dance?"

**later that night**

He had nothing to feel guilty for, Kurt knew that. He'd danced with Adam. That's all, just danced. And to Britney Spears no less. Blaine couldn't possibly feel threatened by Toxic. No, Adam's not the kind of guy that should come with a warning. He hadn't made a single move on Kurt. No smouldering glances, no not-so-innocent touches, no leaning in for a goodnight kiss. Nothing. But Kurt had wondered, fantasized really, about how he would have responded to a glance, a touch, a kiss. But no. Adam knew about Blaine and respected that. That's who Adam is. And though he didn't mention it Adam's probably in a relationship. God knows he's handsome enough and has a great personality. Yes, that's probably it. Maybe his boyfriend is out of town or something. Or maybe Adam doesn't want a fling with a guy who's leaving town in a few weeks. Yes, that's it! God knows Kurt's not that guy either. In three weeks he'll be back in Ohio and everything will be the same as it was. While brushing his teeth he wondered if he should call Blaine right now and tell him all about it. He looked at his watch and decided it was too late to call Blaine but subtract three hours and Mercedes was sure to be up.


	4. This Kind of Thing Can Happen

_Shall we dance? _  
_ On a bright cloud of music shall we fly? _  
_ Shall we dance? _  
_ Shall we then say "Goodnight and mean "Goodbye"? _

_ Or perchance, _  
_ When the last little star has left the sky, _  
_ Shall we still be together _  
_ With our arms around each other _  
_ And shall you be my new romance? _

_ On the clear understanding _  
_ That this kind of thing can happen, _  
_ Shall we dance? _  
_ Shall we dance? _  
_ Shall we Dance?_

_**Shall We Dance - Stacey Kent (The King and I - 1951)**_

**Songwriter camp in Chicago**

Mercedes sat at the desk that also served as a table, scowling at Drew Morris. She was wearing her rattiest clothes, had a t-shirt wrapped around her head and making snarky comments at everything he said. But still the amber-eyed black man stayed, making crepes like he was at home.

"I hope you don't mind me rummaging through your frig." He put the plate down in front of her. "But I thought you might be hungry. That's why I like this kind of hotel, the kind with a kitchen. Jesus, road food will put the pounds on you."

"You calling me fat?" She snarled.

He just laughed. "Mercedes, you can try to pick a fight all you want. My last girlfriend was straight up bitch and you're not even in competition."

"I'm not your girlfriend."

"Not yet." He unwrapped the tshirt she was using to dry her hair. "But admit it, you're starting to get used to the idea. Now, let's see if we can undo the damage we did to your do."

"Didn't you putting your hands all up in my hair start this mess?" She said, but not nearly as fiercely as before.

"What mess is that?" He stretched out one of her curls.

"I shouldn't have slept with you Drew." She waved his hand away. "I'm serious. We have to work together and this just complicates everything."

"I'm not that hard to get along with. And we're both professional enough to keep it together until camp is over. We both know this is too important for foolishness. They sent us on this trip to write songs for album of the winner of America's Singing Champ and Miss Alyce will kill us if we don't get at least one song-writing credit out of this. Come on, let's do something fast and cute with this." He raked his fingers through her hair, not too tangled he judged. "In case we get our pictures taken I don't want you to look like you've been wrestling all night."

"And that's another thing." She couldn't even pretend to be mad anymore, this morning's wrestling match kept popping in her head.. "Only gay guys know how to do hair."

"Gay guys and guys who had to do their own damned hair. That's what my mom used to say. What's wrong with a fade like everybody else in the world? Why you gotta go Black Panther on me? There wasn't a natural head of hair in my whole family on the female side and the men just got it lopped off at the barber shop. Locs were on me so I had to learn how to do it. Then, in the couple of years I wasted at college I was the goto guy for natural hair."

"And yet you ended up with a girl with a weave." Mercedes visualized his stunningly beautiful ex-girlfriend.

"My bad. Shouldn't known better. High maintenance hair/high maintenance girl. Nature knows best. Sometimes I feel like a natural woman, woman!" he sang.

"Damn, Drew." She said laughing. "Every time you open your mouth I wonder what the hell I was thinking last night."

"So you're saying you want to work on body language?" He leaned over for a kiss, which was interrupted by the phone ringing. Kurt's ringtone.

"Hold that thought." She said, pressing a finger to his lips, "I need to talk to a real gay guy."

"Okay, come on next door when you're done." He left, closing the adjourning door behind him.

"Hey babe, whasup?" Mercedes said cheerfully into the phone.

"I didn't want to interrupt you at work but..."

"No problem. We're almost done, just have to present what we came up with in the week we've been here and the producers will pick the songs that will go on the album. But isn't it kinda of early? I thought Blaine was in town. Shouldn't you be in bed, if you know what I mean?" All she heard was a sniffle. "Kurt! What happened?"

"I'm not really sure. Blaine came to visit and Rachel insisted on having a little party, just a few friends to celebrate the job offer from Vogue. She had it at her loft because now that I'm staying in New York she's angling for a roommate. She has a boyfriend, Brody, but he's not 100 percent dependable with the rent and she's got two bedrooms. Unfortunately she thought it was a good idea to invite Adam and Patrice. It makes sense because they modelled for the layout that got me the job offer. Unfortunately she didn't realize that Blaine's insanely jealous of Adam so the whole thing - the job offer, Adam - everything just put him in a bad move."

"But your photo spread was fucking brilliant! I mean, who turns to Vogue for an exploration of gender identity? I never heard of Andrej Pejic or any of those guys but they way you styled and posed Adam and Patrice? It hit like a ton of bricks that the sexy blond in the satin dress is a guy. The guy is just a prop in those things anyway but then he's really a woman? And not just anybody would pose like that for you, I bet Blaine wouldn't have. Kurt, I know you love Blaine but..."

"But what?"

"But why can't you have a little happiness? Why can't you be the one riding the tilt-a-whirl instead of the one standing by the fence?"

"Ride the tilt-a-whirl?" Kurt questioned.

"It's from a song I'm working on. I'll play it for you some time if I ever finish it. The point is why can't Blaine be happy for you? You weren't happy about West Side Story but you found a way to be supportive of him."

"Well, he did come to McKinley just to be with me. That's one hell of a sacrifice."

"Yes, but that's something he choose to do and he ruled that place once he got there. Anyway you never asked him to do that so he shouldn't hold that against you, like you owe him for the rest of your life."

"Now Mercy, it's not like that!"

"Of course not. But Kurt, are you sure he's not projecting?"

"Projecting? What do you mean?"

"Well, you've never given him any reason not to trust you. Okay, maybe texting Chandler was borderline but you're about the world's worst secret keeper, you got busted in about 30 seconds. But Blaine? How many times did you guys see that credit score commercial together and he never mentioned 'hey, that's my brother'? Who does that? I mean if Cooper hadn't come to town you'd never have known. Why such a deep dark secret?"

"Well, he never got along with Cooper and..."

"Sure." Sometimes she got tired of Kurt covering for Blaine's quirks. "I ran into Cooper again. Had to reintroduce myself cause he had no idea who I was but he's dating my boss Alyce. Nice enough guy in a LA sort of way but anyway, wouldn't most people just say 'he's my brother but I can't stand his ass'? But to pretend you don't know the guy? Anyhow, I'm sure you and Blaine can work though this. School ends in a couple of months. He's sure to get into NYADA and this time next year this will just be a bad memory. Meanwhile, back to me! I think I made a horrible mistake."

"What's your horrible mistake?" She didn't sound very horrified.

"Drew. Remember he broke up with his girlfriend a couple of months ago?"

"Yes, she dumped him for a rapper you said."

"Yes, a guy she met at a video shoot. I always expected he'd replace her with a similar girl. He's damned hot and LA is crawling with beautiful girls. He's been flirting like crazy for the last couple of weeks but I didn't read much into it. I never thought he was serious. So last night we're up late trying to finish a song. It's a song I started a long time ago and it's kind of emotional and he thought we should take a break. He put on some music and we danced for a bit then he asked me about my hair, specifically why I gave up the weave. He wanted to know if I was making some kind of political statement cause that's why he started growing locs six years ago. He went to a mostly white school and wanted his hair to reflect the motherland. And yes, that's how he put it. So I told him no, I just couldn't afford the upkeep anymore. Then wanted to show me this stuff he uses to clean his hair which led to him washing my hair which led to..." She paused. "I know it sounds cheesy but we just snuggled all night. We'd both had a little to drink and he kept saying we should wait until I was stone cold sober, drunk girls are no fun. Even though it was only until morning, just laying there, waiting for him to wake up? And then when he did wake up? God, it was awesome!"

"Well you go, girl! How's that a mistake? You're both single."

"Yes but..."

"But what?"

"What if this ends up like Sam? Or even worse, like Shane?"

"What's this got to do with either of them?" He asked indignantly. "Shane's a mistake, that's for sure, and Sam's just a fool."

"Sam was rebounding from having money, in a sense, and Drew's definitely rebounding from the vixen."

"So maybe this is just a ride on the tilt-a-whirl as you so eloquently put it. Maybe neither Sam or Drew is your endgame."

"Endgame?"

"That's something Finn keeps saying about Rachel. I used to think it was cute." Kurt shrugged. "Now I think it's kind of stalkery. But maybe your first love is just that, your first love. Maybe first love seems irreplaceable because you don't know better. Maybe you try to hang on to that feeling out of desperation, thinking it's never going to come around again."

"Desperation?"

"Desperation, fear? What the hell do I know about it? There's got to be a reason why there's so many songs comparing love to addiction. Anyway, back to me! Should I move in with Rachel? Pros and cons."

"I've got a rehearsal in 20 minutes. I'll give you a call later with a list of all the reasons why living with Rachel Berry is a bad idea."

"Cool. Talk to you later."

Mercedes hung up and quickly changed into something presentable, skinny jeans and her favorite t-shirt. Lucky for her these guys and only listening to the song and imagining how their client would sound recording it. They don't care if she's wearing a Superman t-shirt from the thrift store. But just in case she grabbed her leather jacket before tying back her curls just as Drew knocked on the door.

"Ready to go sell some songs?" he asked, handing her a bouquet he'd purchased at the flower shop next to the hotel.


	5. So Everybody Else Don't Have To Know

**I forgot to say this earlier but thanks for all the favorites and alerts. Also thanks to all my reviewers who are really helping me stay focused with this thing.**

* * *

_I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to_  
_See I wanna move but can't escape from you_  
_So I keep it low, keep a secret code_  
_So everybody else don't have to know_

_So keep your love locked down, your love locked down_  
_Keepin' your love locked down, your love locked down_  
_I keep your love locked down, your love locked down_  
_I keep your love locked down, you lose_

_I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to_  
_I can't keep my cool, so I keep it true_  
_I got somethin' to lose, so I gotta move_  
_I can't keep myself and still keep you too_

_I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to _  
_Where I wanna go, I don't need you _  
_I've been down this road, too many times before _  
_I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to_

_**Love Lock Down - Kayne West as performed by Pentatonix**  
_

**Last Spring**

Mercedes sat on the edge of the bed and anxiously watched as Sam read the notebook she had just handed him. He finished the page and looked up.

"Well?" she asked. "I know it's just a rough draft but I figured you could write some music to go with the words."

"It's good. Really good." She allowed herself to exhale while he spoke. "But.."

"But what?" She asked defensively.

"Don't you think it's kinda, kinda, personal?"

"What do you man, personal?" No answer from Sam. "Didn't Schuester ask us to write about something we care about? It's about you because that's what I care about."

"Yeah, but it's so obvious."

"So? Rachel writes about Finn all the time. Schuester never has a problem with it. But it's not Schuester with the problem, is it?"

"Well, we don't want everybody minding our business." He tried to laugh it off as a joke.

"That was last year, Sam." She grabbed the notebook from his hand and flung it across the room. "That was last year! I don't give a damn who knows that we're dating. Do you?"

"Of course not." But he hesitated just a second too long to suit Ms. Jones.

"Of course not." She repeated. Suddenly calm, she walked over and picked up the notebook again. "You know what? I know we were supposed to work on this assignment for Schuester but it's just a waste of time. Everybody knows he's going to pick whatever Rachel submits and I just remembered, I need to call Quinn."

"Quinn? Since when are you friends with Quinn?"

"I didn't say we were friends. I need to talk to her about AP Physics. We have a test tomorrow. You'll find out how that is next year."

"Me and AP Physics?" He scoffed. "I don't think so."

"It'll be something." She flipped open the notebook and took one last look at those brilliant green eyes. "You know the way out."

**Now**

Blaine Anderson sat on one of the beds in the hotel room, hunched over his laptop. Occasionally he would lean over and check his notes before resuming his trip report. The Ohio State Association of Student Governments – A Summary. He rearranged a paragraph and continued typing.

"Hey, I'm back." He looked up briefly as Sam entered the room, carrying a pizza and a six pack of beer. "I brought you a present."

"I thought you were hitching a ride back to Lima. Isn't Britt waiting there for you?"

"Nope." Sam opened a beer and tossed on to Blaine. "Nope. Nope. Nope." He took a big gulp. "Santana's in town and when Santana's in town..."

Blaine sat up and adjusted his glasses. "That's one fucked up relationship, if you don't mind me saying so. You get kicked out of bed when Santana shows up?"

"I actually prefer it this way. What I want will still be there when Santana leaves." He flipped on the TV.

"Do you have to?" Blaine scowled. "If I don't turn in a report they won't send next year's president and vice president to this conference."

"So? It won't make a difference to you." But he turned off the TV and pulled out his ipod instead. Quickly tiring of listening to music he sat down next to Blaine and opened his second beer. "Pizza's getting cold."

"Fine!" Blaine saved the document and closed the laptop. "What did you get?"

"Your favorite. Vegetarian."

Blaine nibbled the pizza, wondering what Kurt was doing right now. He knew what Kurt wasn't doing. He wasn't shoving pizza in his mouth, washing it down with cheap beer and wiping his lips on his sleeve. Blaine laughed at the sight.

"Well, it's nice to see you happy again." Sam remarked.

"Sure I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You complain about Kurt a lot." Sam observed. "Ever since you came back from visiting him you've been bitching."

"He said he was coming back." Blaine frowned. "He promised. And then, it's Adam and his brilliant career for him to worry about."

"Not my business but you could be happy for him. When he was home at Christmas and showed us his layout he was so proud of himself. And not that I know anything about fashion but I liked it, and the magazine liked it enough to offer him a paid position."

"But it was Adam!" Blaine whined.

"But Adam's not his type."

"How do you know that? Adam's blond and Kurt likes blondes. Chandler was blond."

"Who's Chandler?" Sam asked in confusion.

"I guy Kurt was into last year. They went at it all hot and heavy."

"So Kurt cheated on you with this Chandler?" Kurt didn't seem like the cheating type but Sam knew from experience you can't tell by looking.

"No, just asinine texts, but it was just a matter of time. I bet he's with Adam right now."

"Adam's kinda girly, hell he was modeling dresses in Vogue, and you're not at all girly. So therefore, assuming you're his type, Adam's not." Sam impressed himself with his deductive reasoning.

"Adam doesn't wear dresses all the time like Unique. He just did that as a favor to Kurt. Kurt's friend Patrice is straight and she dressed like a man. All the other interns did layouts with pretty girls against exotic backdrops. Kurt used androgynous models."

"What's that mean, andro..."

"Androgynous. It means you have to look twice to tell if they're male or female. Kurt kinda has that look, if he wore his hair longer. But he dresses like a man and people don't get confused." Sam could have argued that point but let it go.

"Did you ever have sex with a girl?" Sam asked, hoping to lift the foul mood that comes over Blaine when he's brooding about Kurt.

"Nope." Blaine answered quickly. "Never wanted to."

"Never?" Sam asked in disbelief. "As in never?"

"Never!"

"You never once looked at a girl and thought, hey she's kinda cute." When Blaine didn't answer immediately he knew he was right. "I knew it! Who?"

"Well, Jennifer Hudson's kinda cute."

"Jennifer Hudson?" Sam agreed with that. She's cute for a woman her age. "Anybody closer to home?"

"You first, did you ever think about having sex with a guy?"

"Besides you?"

"Aww, that makes me all hot and tingly" Blaine joked.

"Okie dokie then. Back to you, closer to home."

"Okay, don't laugh, but Mercedes."

"Mercedes?" Sam said with a laugh. "Really? Mercedes?"

"Yeah, her. You used to date her so why are you acting like that?"

"She's nice. Great. But she's not exactly..." Sam searched for the correct words. "She's not like the others."

"That's it!" Blaine said with enthusiasm. "Have you seen her lately? She slimmed down a bit so now she's just all curves. If I was going to sleep with a woman I'd sleep with one who's built like a woman." He started whispering "I saw her wet once."

"Wet?" Did he say wet?

"Like from rain. Harry likes to hand my mom the child support check like he's doing her some big favor. Like she should be overwhelmed with gratitude. It's court ordered, he has to pay it. Ass-hole. Anyway Harry came over to our house, Harry and his wife and their baby, and I went out for a drive so I didn't have to look at his face. Thank god I take after my mom's side of the family, unlike poor Coop. It was one of those days where it was drizzling off and on. Well, it suddenly starting pouring, like buckets. So I'm driving down the road and somebody darted across the street. Shit, I almost hit her. She was out jogging and had gotten soaked. Her hair was all short and dripping in all these little springy curls? Anyway, I offered her a ride home. I gave her a sweater that was in the back seat. Well, she's so short she had to halfway climb into the back seat to reach it. I couldn't help but look, her ass was practically in my face. Then she kept squeezing the water out of her hair and using the sweater to catch the water. And every time she reached up her chest kinda stuck out, and you know how girls get when it's cold and their nipples get all hard? That time she caught me looking and laughed at me. Thank god it was you and not Puck who almost killed me she said. He'd want a 'reward' and I left my boxing gloves in LA. Then she laughed again, all deep and rumbly."

Sam was getting irritated. When he knew her she would have never been out running, never gotten her weave wet or left home without it, never flashed her breasts. Okay, Blaine didn't exactly say she'd flashed him but still. "Then what?"

"Nothing. We got to her house, she gave me a peck on cheek and told me to say hi to Kurt. End of story."

"When was all this?"

"Thanksgiving break. You took Britney home to meet your folks. Like I said, Harry came over to bitch at my mom about money and I was avoiding him. Normally I'd go visit Kurt but he was back in New York already." Blaine popped the top on his beer. Thanks to Puck and his pipeline to fake IDs buying beer is no problem these days. He stared at Sam intently. "So stop bullshitting me. It was Kurt wasn't it?"

"I love it when you talk dirty. I should get you drunk more often." Sam leaned back on the bed getting comfortable. "And for the record I'm not shitting you. Okay, it crossed my mind for about 10 seconds the first time I met him, but then he wouldn't shut up. I couldn't tell if he was flirting or just running off at the mouth. Finally I had to tell him, hey dude, I'm trying to take a shower here. Ya mind?"

"So if you did, it wouldn't be Kurt?"

"Too effimin..what's the word that's a polite way to say girly?"

"Effeminate?"

"Right. I've had sex with plenty of girls. It would have to be a guy who I trusted and one who wouldn't get all worked up about it, wanting to discuss feelings. I truly hate that kind of shit. Sex is just a physical thing to Britt and I like that in a girl. Trust me, our relationship isn't about her conversational skills. That's why we're soulmates. It makes things much easier when you're both on the same page."

"And you think I'm that guy?"

"You could be if you wanted to." Sam put down his beer and rolled over to face Blaine. "And I think you want to."

Blaine put down his beer and stood up smiling. "Hey, dude! I'm trying to take a shower here."

Sam followed him into the bathroom.


	6. One Stop, Get It While It's Hot

Will couldn't believe it, even from 200 miles away his most difficult student was still causing problems. How did she manage it? As returning National champions they had an automatic invite to this year's competition in LA so they attended Sectionals as observers. In any case, nothing they saw there worried them very much. And Regionals was looking the same until this. The first few teams were good but nothing New Directions couldn't handle. But now this! This team competed from a community center, not a school like most of the others and what they were performing? Will couldn't believe it. Candyman! This group was mixed but the girls took the lead on this piece and the arrangement, the choreography, everything was the way he'd seen Mercedes do it. Maybe the black girl singing lead, Holly from last year's Spanish class he recognized with a pang, wasn't the singer Mercedes was but she hit that high note and held it long enough to win Regionals.

"Ladies and gentlemen, meet your completion!" Will pushed play.

_Sweet sugar candy man  
He's a one stop, gotcha hot, making all the panties drop  
Sweet sugar candy man  
He's a one stop, got me hot, making my uh pop  
Sweet sugar candy man  
He's a one stop, get it while it's hot, baby don't stop  
Sweet sugar candy man  
_

_Well, by now I'm getting all bothered and hot  
When he kissed my mouth it really hit the spot  
He's got those lips like sugar cane_  
_Good things come for boys who wait_

_He's a one stop shop, makes my cherry pop_  
_He's a sweet-talkin', sugar coated candy man_  
_A sweet-talkin', sugar coated candy man_

_**Candyman – Christina Aguilera (2006)**  
_

Finn immediately recognized the arrangement. "Shelby's behind this!"

Artie recognized three of the girls. "Hey, they used to be TroubleTones! Is that legal?"

Blaine recognized the guys jitterbugging with the girls. "Some of those guys are Warblers! Is that legal?"

"That song is filthy!" Kitty chimed in. "Is that legal?"

"Shelby's not behind this, at least not directly and it's all legal. They're part of a local community center. I spoke to their lead singer and a former member of New Directions took it upon herself to coach Holly. You would think that Holly not being a member of New Directions would have made a difference to her but no, certain people want to make their own rules."

"Why isn't Holly a member?" Jacob asked, genuinely interested. He'd seen her around school but had no idea she was a singer. He'd once tried to make her panties drop only to be rewarded with a knee to the crotch. "Didn't all the members from last year get invited back?"

"Well, the TroubleTones weren't really members of New Directions." Will answered.

"There's your problem." Unique mumbled. "Did anybody even ask them to come back?"

"You can't get ahead by looking in the rear view mirror!" Will declared.

"Yup, just drive away from the wreckage! That always works." Unique said, making a note to talk to Holly first chance she got. Holly didn't sing much the last time she'd seen her in performance and suddenly she's hitting – and holding – notes like that? She ran through former New Directions members and mentally mapped TroubleTone members. Britt's sitting right there looking clueless, nothing new there. Santana wouldn't do shit to help a sister out, which just leaves... She sent a text to Mercedes.

Blaine kicked himself for not listening more closely as Sebastian rambled on at that party last week, acting like he was about to get a Nobel prize for being so generous to the less fortunate. Instead Blaine had been making out with Wes, something he didn't regret one bit. Evidently Blaine was just an item on Sam's bucket list but Wes was the real deal, except for the whole sleeping with the competition bit. Oh, and the bit about cheating on Kurt but Blaine choose to ignore those bits. Blaine sent Wes an email to get to the bottom of all this.

**Later that night from LA**

"You know what, girl? I'm in such a good mood nothing you say can bust my bubble." Mercedes said over the skype connection.

"Tell me all about it." Unique answered. "I just wanted to ask you that question about Holly and we can ignore Schuester's childish tantrum."

"Okay, here's the deal with Holly. I recruited her for the TroubleTones, thinking she'd make a good replacement when the seniors graduated. There's a couple other girls there who are decent singers. Anyway, all of them know all the routines Shelby made up, just in case she had a last minute substitution. Holly's a better singer than Britt so she definitely would have moved up in a fair world. So anyway Holly showed up at the first practice of New Directions last fall and Schuester told her she had to audition. Holly never liked Schuester anyway so she said to hell with that. So Holly not being in New Directions is totally Schuester's fault. She decided to volunteer as a dance teacher down at the community center and who walked in but Sebastian Smythe! He'd done some dumb-ass thing, if you knew him you wouldn't be at all surprised. The boy can't stop himself. Normally his dad pays off people to keep him out of trouble but this time the victim pressed charges and Sebastian got sentenced to community service. The two of them pulled together enough people to compete and the rest is history. And yes, Holly asked me about vocal work and I taught her some stuff I learned from Shelby cause I didn't learn a damn thing from Schuester. I've seen most of their routines so New Directions better bring its A game to Nationals."

"You know us, slap it together at the last minute and hope for the best." Unique laughed at how different things were from Vocal Adrenaline. She'd decided long ago to stop crying over it. "So what's making Ms. Jones so happy?"

"Last month I went to Chicago? I don't remember if I told you about it or not but Drew and I went to a, well it's called a writers camp. They pull together a bunch of writers to write songs for an album. Drew was supposed to go with Faith, this other songwriter but her baby decided to come a little early so I went instead. Between the three of us Drew and I in Chicago and Faith back here for emergency backup we got three songs placed on the album. That's a lot, getting three placements on an album. One of them was for a song I'd been working on, off and on, for a couple of years and Faith emailed me the perfect hook literally 10 minutes before I presented it. She was dead tired, staring at her crying baby boy when the tune popped in her head. She just started humming it and the baby stopped crying. That's the song, it's called Swirl, the record company wants to release as the first single because they think it's the best song on the album! And they're going to go ahead and film a video to support it because they think it's that strong. You wouldn't believe how big this is!"

"Congratulations! I'm going to mention that in practice tomorrow just to rub it in Schuester's face. And you're dating Drew, right?"

"Yes, but to be honest this video is bigger than that. I know that sounds terrible but I can't let my happiness depend on whether or not I have a man. I wasted most of high school crying over boys I didn't have and then crying over ones I thought I had and ones I couldn't get rid of. I like how things stand with Drew right now. He's teaching me you can date a person without smothering them. But I guess you're thinking that's easy for me to say, I used to think the same thing when I heard it back in high school."

"No, actually I have a man." Unique said with a sly grin.

"Oh my god! Who? Anybody I know?"

"No, it's a boy Blaine introduced me to. A guy named Trent from Dalton? He's so sweet. We talked a lot before we met because he'd never met a transgirl and wasn't sure what to think. He's a little on the heavy side so he understands how people constantly judge by appearance. Kids used to call him tent, as in big as a tent, but Dalton's not like that and he doesn't waste time on foolishness anymore. But he still didn't know what to think, was afraid of saying the wrong thing. He asked me lots of questions about it how I see myself, more than anybody here ever has, and after a couple of weeks of talking decided he really wanted to meet me. He said my personality was more important than my genitalia." Her smile lit the computer screen. "Okay, it sounds crude but it was a really sweet thing to say because that's a deal breaker for most guys. Mercy, It was my first date! We went on a double-date with Blaine and his new boyfriend and Trent held my hand and kissed me goodnight! He said he'd never seen a girl who was trans, that he knows of, but now he'd recognize one right away cause they'd be the most beautiful girl in the room."

"Awww, I'm so happy for you! Wait a minute - Blaine and his new boyfriend?"

"Yes, a guy named Wes he knows from when he went to Dalton. Kurt and Blaine broke up you know."

"They did?" If so, why is Kurt still guilt tripping over being friends with Adam? She'd have to check into that.

"A little while ago. So anyway, Trent's a family name. As in that's his mom's maiden name. He told me I was lucky, most people are stuck with the name their parents picked but I got to pick my name and how did I choose Unique? That got me to thinking, I picked Unique after watching way too many episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race but is that who I am, a drag queen? I'm thinking of changing my name. Not for Trent 'cause he doesn't really care." She added quickly. "Just for me. A regular girl's name."

"You know, I never thought of that. If I wasn't Mercedes who would I be? If they had named me Maxine way back when would I be a different person? Or Mildred? That would have been awful."

"Exactly. So you know how I don't have a Facebook, how I said I was too busy to mess with all that?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's not the real reason. People say so much shit to me to my face and loudly behind my back I couldn't bear to read what they'd say hidden behind a keyboard. But I decided to take the plunge." She switched to a little girl voice. "Will you be my friend?"

Mercedes looked at the friend request that had just popped up on the edge of the screen. "Christine?"

"Yeah. My middle name is Christian so it's kinda the name my parents picked for me. They hated the name Unique, called it a stripper name, but they don't mind calling me Chris. Maybe they're still hoping this is a phase but look, they had a party for me."

Mercedes looked at the girl holding a birthday cake. "Happy Name Day, Chris!" Wade had always looked like a boy and Unique, to be honest, looked like an overly-made up church lady. Chris looked like a beautiful 17 year old girl, her short fro accented with a feather hairpin, matching dangling earrings and tasteful makeup.

"It was the day I choose my name, obviously. There's a LGBT support group down at the community center and they came with me and brought this cake."

"Awww. Happy Name Day, Boo." Mercedes knew just the earrings that would look perfect on Chris, and just the man to pick up a pair in New York.


	7. The Promise of Paradise

A Whisper to the reader: (Yeah, I totally stole that from Mark Twain)

Thanks very much to everybody that favorited/alerted/reviewed. I really appreciate your taking the time and effort.

However, since I can't respond to guest reviews I'll take a few minutes to clarify.

1. Yes, Sam at the end of season 2 was a real sweetheart but where was Mercedes at the end of season 2, being ignored by Schuester and involved in a secret relationship. Why can't she have a regular boyfriend like everybody else?

2. So in season 3, where is Mercedes right before Sam reappears? She's got a boyfriend (dull as dirt Shane but still, he's proud to be seen in public with here) and she's fronting the Troubletones. Sam proceeds, without a second's hesitation, to take both of those things away. At the end of season 3 they're back together, I guess, on a temporary basis because she's definitely leaving town.

3. Season 4 starts with Mercedes living in LA, apparently recording with some success (of course this being Glee she can't be really successful cause her name's not Berry) but she's matured and Sam's taken a ride in that same immaturity machine Blaine rode during season 3. Unfortunately for me I watched just enough of season 4 to gain a dislike for Sam, who seems to be using dumb charm to work his way through the ladies of New Directions. I suppose they had to dumb him down to explain his interest in Britt but again, Britt's a public girlfriend, like Quinn and Santana were so why was Mercedes a secret again?

4. Re:Blaine. Blaine's answering a hypothetical question. Since he's already sleeping with a skinny white boy why not a woman who looks like a woman, one with curves. And why not Mercedes? She's cute and not the same old same old like all the other girls, with the possible exception of Tina. Anyway, this story isn't about Blaine but Blaine's important to who Kurt is so that's why he's in this story.

5. Not that anybody asked but it always bothered me how shabbily the TroubleTones (and those band kids) were treated and how they appear and disappear at random.

So, back to the story.

* * *

_Before my eyes_  
_Was the promise of paradise_  
_Is she real, can she feel_  
_Is she a dream?_

_If ya know what I mean_  
_Cause she was built out of_  
_Stuff like that_

_**Stuff Like That (1978) – Quincy Jones featuring Nickolas Ashford, Chaka Khan, Valerie Simpson**_

It took Crawford Day several minutes to realize she had lost Sam's attention. Crawford Day is not her name of course. It's Regina, call me Reggie, but Sam can't recall her name. He was listening to her ramble on, wondering if he could discretely text Blaine for her name, wondering what it was about her that's getting on his nerves, when he heard that oh so familiar voice.

"Have you heard them before?" He asked Crawford, nodding toward the stage of the crowded dance club.

"Oh yeah. I live so close to here, you know. They've played here a couple of times. I think they have an album coming out soon. If you want, we can go back to my house and listen to some stuff I downloaded. Did I mention my dad's out of town?"

Yes, you've mentioned it six times so Sam ignored that. "Does she always sing with them?"

"Who?" She looked at the female singer. "Her? Nope, never seen her before. But anyway, we can listen to whatever you want, I've got the whole house to myself and..."

"Can we get closer?" Sam gave her his best smile. "Please?"

Crawford shrugged and led Sam toward the stage.

She looked so natural, on stage with the spotlight. He looked from her to Crawford. According to Blaine, who's devoting way too much energy to helping Sam get over the supposed trauma of losing Brit, Crawford's his type. Thin, white, pretty in a standard way. He compared Crawford's short skirt and leggings to Mercedes' long ruffled black skirt and lace up boots, Crawford's sheer blouse over a black tank top to Mercedes' flowing white blouse under a tight corset. Crawford's straight blonde hair, Mercedes' curly natural. Crawford looked like every other girl in the club. Mercedes was unique.

"I was beginning to think you were gay." Crawford remarked. "I mean, being a friend of Blaine's and all. I thought that was the reason you can't take a hint. Turns out I'm not your type." She started to walk away.

"No, it's not that." He grabbed the girl's hand. "I know her, we went to school together."

"Really?" This might not have been a complete waste of time she thought, pulling him towards the stage. "Really? Let's see if she can get us backstage."

**Later**

Standing in a quiet corner of the after-show party, Sam desperately called Blaine, muttering under his breath. "Answer, damn it!"

"Problem?" Mercedes asked, deftly brushing aside the guy who had been following her all night and handing Sam a bottle of water.

"No problem. My blind date decides she'd rather be a groupie, my ride back home is god knows where doing god knows what..."

"And here you are, stranded with Mercedes." She rolled her eyes. "Why, it's the prom all over again."

"Pluh-eese! You had a great time with me at the prom and you know it."

"It was nice." She said sarcastically.

"It was freaking fantastic."

"It was nice." She repeated. "Now the carnival? That was freaking fantastic."

"Yeah." He agreed. "That was fantastic. What happened to us?" He asked, gazing into her sparkling brown eyes.

"Grew up I suppose. That's what kids do after all. Fortunately we didn't do irreparable damage." She crushed the empty water bottle in her hands. "You say you need a ride back to Lima? I'm headed that way and could use the company to stay awake."

**Driving to Lima**

"I thought you were a nanny or something but you're working in Columbus now?" Sam asked, half asleep in the passenger side as she drove to Lima.

"No. I actually came home because my dad got an award?" She turned down the radio. "Lima small businessman of the year? Anyhow, they already had plans for tonight, my coming to town was supposed to be a surprise, so I was free. I decided to come down and hear Steve play. I met him in LA and we always go to hear each other perform. I went backstage to say hi and he asked to sing something with him. We do that all the time, come out to hear each other perform."

"So you like it in LA?"

"I love it. Funny that some of the people I've only known for a few months are closer than most of the kids I spent 4 years with. When something good happens everybody's so happy for them, not like home."

"We're happy for each other here."

"Really? It's not like before, where one person is the star and everybody else is backup?"

Sam shrugged. Yeah, it was pretty much like that.

"But what about you?" Mercedes continued. "What are your plans after high school? College?"

"College? Hah! I already knew I didn't have the money, now it's official that I don't have the brains either."

**Earlier that week**

_"You represent the best and the worst of McKinley High School." Principal Figgins droned._

_"Holy Project Runway, Batman!" Tina mumbled._

_"The best" he said pointedly, "And the worst. Tina."_

_"Yes, sir?"_

_"Tina Cohen-Chang, you got the second best SAT score. Congratulations." He shook her hand while Tina wondered who in the room beat her score. She looked at Britt, Rick "the stick" Nelson, and Sam. Who in this room is smarter than she is?_

_"Richard Nelson, you got the second worst score."_

_"Whoo hoo!" Rick lept to his feet for a victory dance._

_"You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I know your parents are. Now sit down please." He looked at Sam and Britt. "Britney, you got a perfect score on the SATs. You made all of us proud."_

_"Recount!" Tina yelled. "I demand a recount."_

_"I owe it all to Lord Tubbington." Britt said proudly. "I just filled in the boxes to spell his name." She looked at Sam, his wide mouth open in disbelief. "Don't worry baby. Of course I can't hang out with you anymore, what with me being smart and you being not so much smart. I'm sorry but I have an image to uphold but don't worry baby, I'll always remember how hot you are." Sam looked at her in anger, she fished for another compliment. "And I'll always remember you in the top 10, sex wise. At least in my high school years. College guys? I can't make any promises there."_

_"And Sam..." Figgins continued._

_"You don't have to say it." He stood up and headed to the door. "Even I can figure that out."_

**Back to Now**

"Well, there's the military. You talked about that a lot last year." Mercedes reminded him. "Or maybe you want to do something that doesn't need college. "

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Cooking, how about that?"

"Cooking?"

"People gotta eat. It's your life, you can figure it out." Her phone dinged, someone had posted to her Facebook wall. She ignored it.

"Don't you want to check that?"

"Nah, it'll keep till morning." She ignored several more posts. Then the phone rang "Girl you gotta wonder 'bout a man like that!"

"You gonna answer that?"

"No" she snickered. "That can wait forever"

Man-like-that called back three more times. Then the phone played "Don't pinch me, I'm dreaming"

"Do you mind, Sam? It's my boss and she wouldn't call if it wasn't important." Sam shrugged. "Hello, Alice."

"Am I interrupting something?" a voice he assumed belonged to Alice asked.

"No, I'm just driving back from Columbus. I went down to hear Steve and ran into a friend from highschool who needed a ride back home."

"Steve as in Broken Bonds?" Alice remembers people by songs they've written.

"Yes, that Steve. Anyway I'm on speaker. What's up?"

"Pull over."

"No, I can hear fine."

"No, really." Alice insisted. "I want you to focus on what I have to tell you."

"There's a Starbucks up the street." Sam pointed out. "Why don't you pull in over there? I need to make a pit stop anyway."

Several minutes later Sam knocked on the car window, juggling a cup of coffee in each hand.

"Thanks Sam, that was really thoughtful." She got out of the car and stretched before accepting the cup. "Do you mind driving? I have to make a few calls."

"Sure. Was that good news?"

"The best! I have to call Kurt. He's probably asleep now but I want to leave a message." She slipped into passenger side door Sam held open for her. "I forgot what a gentleman you are." she giggled.

"Thank you." Sam started the engine and slid the car out of the parking lot.

"Kurt. It's Mercedes. Call me in the morning, don't worry about waking me. Remember that award I told you about, the Junos? We got a nomination for song and record! I'll tell you all about it. I know it's the middle of the night but I wanted you to be the first to know. Well, I called my mom already but you know what I mean. Call me."

"What's a Juno?" Sam asked after she hung up.

"It's a Canadian Grammy. It's big deal." She grinned.

"How did you qualify for that? You're not Canadian."

"You got me there, but Drew is and the band that recorded the song is."

"And who's Drew?"

"Ha!" Man-like-that called again. "This is Drew. This is me ignoring Drew. No, that's petty. Excuse me for a second. Hey, Drew. How's Viv?" She listened to his response. "No ulterior motive, just making a polite inquiry….I told you, I don't have a problem with the woman, she's really sweet. In her way…Oh, that's not what you called me about? ...Yeah, I suppose so." She couldn't help but giggle. "Fucking awesome! Alice updated the website already, did you see it?...No, I'm not home yet. Steve said hi… A club in Columbus...No, somebody else is driving, thanks for your concern." She sighed. "I'll be back tomorrow night. Alice is making a cake." She laughed at whatever he said. "Okay, I've never seen her do anything but order carry-out but you can't get food poisoning from cake. Listen, I gotta go. I'll call you when I get back." She laughed before hanging up.

"Now that's what comes of believing in happily ever after." Mercedes said, pocketing her phone.

"How's that?" Sam asked.

"I never believed in it myself." She seemed to be talking to herself. "I mean black, fat and living in small town Ohio is not exactly princess material. Even when you showed up, looking like a prince from central casting, I figured you were meant to be somebody else's prince."

"Britt's?"

"Nah, I would have never guessed Britt. You and Tina would be cute together. Little green-eyed Asian babies. They're be too cute."

"Babies? Not hardly." He scoffed.

"Kurt believes in happily ever after. That's why Blaine's foolishness almost killed him. But Blaine, he's just a kid who fucked up and that's what kids do, they fuck up. They should have just broken up when Kurt moved to New York. Or Kurt should have just stayed in Ohio if he wanted to be joined at the hip with Blaine. That's what Drew and Viv did."

"Who's Viv?"

"Vivianne, the video vixen. Jesus, she's beautiful. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. Drew's pretty attractive in his own right so together? Cuter than you and Quinn, so I'm talking about a shitload of good looks in one place. They're probably going to have beautiful babies together."

"They're having a baby?"

"No, but I bet it's just a matter of time. She graduated from high school a year before him and hung around town, Toronto being the town in question, waiting for him to graduate. That's my point. Then they came to LA together and everything's was peachy keen for the first four years. Then she dumps Drew to go live with a guy she met on a video shoot. A couple of months after that we dated for a hot minute. Then all of a sudden Viv shows up again. Of course Drew took her back. I say of course because Drew's a happily ever after kind of guy and that's how my luck goes. Just as well, Drew's not really my type."

"He's not?"

"I'm lying, he's exactly my type. Shane's laid-back personality in a smoking hot body. But anyway, what about you? What's your type?"

"You" he blurted out impulsively.

"Me?" She looked amused. "I always liked your sense of humor. Me." she chuckled. "I live thousands of miles away!"

"You're here now and I owe you."

"You owe me?"

"God, I got one chance to sleep with you and I was pathetic. Admit it Mercedes. No wonder you broke up with me."

"I broke up with you because you left town. I had no complaints about your performance."

"Cause neither of us knew any better. The back seat of a car is not the way to go."

"So I've learned."

"You have, have you?" He leered at her. "What else have you learned?"

"Nothing I'm willing to show you in a car." She leered back.

"This is like, totally inappropriate, anyway." He stared out the car window. "You're not a hook-up and leave town type girl. But I have to say your flirting skills are much better. You used to be terrible at that."

"Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome, I guess." He pulled into her empty driveway. "Aren't your folks home?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She asked suggestively. "For your information, they're spending the night in Columbus because it's so late. I'm meeting them down there for brunch before I leave for LA. Walk me to my door?"

"Sure." He ran around the car and opened her car door. "Plus I wanted to check for burglars."

"Yeah, cause sometimes I forget how much crime there is in Lima, Ohio." She took the hand he offered. "I'm too keyed up to sleep anyway. I want to show you the updated website. Nominations like this don't drop on your doorstep every day and Alice is taking advantage of it. She says show business is not the place for shrinking violets. Says you can't just wait for people to recognize your talent, you have to rub it in their faces constantly or else they'll forget. You got 5 minutes to spare?" She smiled seductively. "A couple of minutes for an old friend?"

_I knew I was captured  
__By the rhythm of the magic flute  
__Pulling and urging me  
__To taste the forbidden fruit__  
_

_Though I felt naive_  
_I did not want to leave_  
_Fever was in the air_  
_All of a sudden, I didn't care_  
_No reason why, I just had to testify_

**_Stuff Like That - Quincy Jones_**


End file.
